This is the End...

5 days.
1,565 miles

The Milwaukee skyline appeared as the Random Road Trippers made their way to their final destiation. Weary after days of travel and conversation running thin, the goodbyes were short, but the bond of the Random Road Trip had now been forever forged between them.

From the dirty streets of the French Quater, Blues legends in Memphis, back roads of Kentucky, and speedways in Indiana, the road trippers had managed to see much of this great country.

They also did a pretty admirable job of eating their way through it as well. The following is a list of the better establishments they encountered on their trip:

1. Felix's Restaurant & Oyster Bar - 739 Iberville St, New Orleans, LA
2. Cajun Seafood - 1479 N Claiborne Ave, New Orleans, LA
3. Burge's Hickory Smoked Turkeys & Hams - 510 Spruce St, Lewisville, AR
4. Boulevard Bread Co - 120 Commerce St, Little Rock, AR
5. Charles Vergos' Rendezvous - 52 S 2nd St, Memphis, TN
6. The Arcade Restaurant - 540 S Main St, Memphis, TN
7. Greener Groundz Irish Pub - 871 Broadway Ave, Bowling Green, KY
8. Nick's Chili Parlor - 2621 Lafayette Rd, Indianapolis, IN
9. Lincolnwood Lou Malnati's - 6649 North Lincoln Avenue, Lincolnwood, IL

The Beet, the Boot and the Blonde have finished their trip, but this is the end of just one Random Road Trip - there will be many more to come.

Leaning Tower of Pizza???

As the sun was slowly setting on the final day of the trip, the Random Road Trippers had two destinations left. As they pulled off the freeway, for a second it looked like they had somehow been transported to Italy, but the FIB heckling the Arizona license plates on Beet's car quickly made it clear that this Leaning Tower of Pisa was located in Chicago. Well techincally it is the Leaning Tower of Niles, located in Niles, IL, but who can keep all of those northern suburbs straight?

At half of the size of it's more famous Italian relative, the Tower of Niles was orginally constructed in 1934 to hold water for the recreational pools built for the Ilg Hot Air Electric Ventilating Company of Chicago. Soon after it was donated to their local YMCA, who now maintains it.

After the valiant effort to straighten the tower failed, the road trippers decided to tempt the heart attack fairy one more time by heading to one of the great deep-dish pizzerias in Chicago: Lou Malnati's. After eating their fill one last time, the road trippers headed back on the road to Sweet Home Milwaukee!

Full Throttle Randomness

Start your day with bourbon and you'll end up at the racetrack. That's what the Random Road Trippers learned living like Southern moonshiners today, as we concluded our progression through adolescent, testosterone-filled escapades at the only logical destination: the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

A place where pre-WWII racers topped 150 mph on the original brick-surfaced track and modern Indy car drivers round corners at 220 mph. Execpt for a few symbolic rows of bricks at the finish line, the asphalt now covers the rest of the original 2.5 mile track - built in 1909 as a place for car manufacturers to test their mechanical creations.

To satisfy our need for speed, we took a 5-minute victory lap in a nimble tour shuttle bus, climbing to speeds of an astonishing 35 mph. We could have shattered our PR before we left the grounds if only Jason had listened to Ben. When is it a good idea to listen to Ben's suggestions, you may ask? Well, when you want to gain access to a world-renowned racetrack, max out your Honda's engine, and gain rights to a small Marion County holding cell - that's when.

As usual, Jason tuned out the Siren of Cedarburg, and instead directed us toward the museum filled with old Indy cars, ornate trophies, and racing legends of olde. While in need of a serious update, the museum and racetrack tour were a great way for the Trippers to live out one of life's most important fantasies. Fast cars; check. Now where are the loose women?

Nothing Starts the Day Like Bourbon

After a night filled with country roads and delicious pizza the Random Road Trippers awoke to a fierce rainstorm. Although it would have been nice to wait for the weather to clear, the schedule simply would not allow it.

As the sheets of rain caused near white out conditions, one could only be reminded of the near miss of a tornado during the first random road trip. The only difference was instead of Beets driving Ben's car, Ben was now driving Beet's.

After thirty minutes of hydro-planing, the road trippers could use a stiff drink, luckily the Jim Beam Distillery was next on their list!

With quite the southern belle as a tour guide, the road trippers learned the storied history of both the company and the family. The highlight by far was the trip into one of the aging warehouses. As your eyes adjusted to the dimly lit interior, a bourbon paradise slowly came into focus. Thousands of barrels stacked seven stories high surrounded you. And the smell alone most likely raised each of the roadtrippers BA by a few points.

The tour was smart, because they knew the only thing that would coax the roadtrippers out of the warehouse would be the opportunity to sample some of this fine product, and so that is what they did.

Not to some, drinking bourbon before 10 AM may sound a little distasteful, but don't knock it before you try it!


As each of the roadtrippers carefully carried their armloads of "souvenirs" to the car, they took one last deep breath of the bourbon soaked air and headed to their next locale.

It’s a Bird. It’s a Plane, No it’s Metropolis!

Today’s theme focused on the pleasures of youth, and not to be out done by fire trucks and trains, Beet’s next location stayed in theme. Although the Metropolis of the comics looked more like Brooklyn, this small town on the southern tip of Illinois did Superman the right way.

Billed as the “Home of Superman” this small town has fully embraced all things super. Heading into town we passed the super museum, the super gas station and the super grocery store, until right in the middle of the town square a 25 foot statue of Superman appeared.

As the three road trippers soaked it all in, a 25ft statue of Superman took command of his stage. After doing our best Superman impressions we headed over the gift store/ museum. Although the museum would have cost us a few more singles, we knew the real action was taking in the collectibles for sale. If you ever wanted to experience the Comic Book Man’s shop in real life, this is the place to go.

After doing some shopping and getting some “super” gifts for both Yesh and Adam we headed back to the highway, because like the Pony Express we had many more stops to make!

All Aboard!

You've probably heard The Ballad of Casey Jones, but do you know the man behind the song? And even if you have heard of the lad, how does the legend of this locomotive engineer from the 19th Century Ohio River Valley make it to all the way to vaudeville, and into children's hearts even today?

Well the Random Road Trippers - a curious lot - needed to know more about such an American travel icon. And of course we wanted to see some big trains to match the big fire engines we saw in the morning.

Let's just get right to the point: John Luther Jones was a bad ass. As a boy in Jackson, TN he knew he wanted to ride the rails, and at the age of 15 he got his first job with the railroad. In his early years, he often claimed Cayce, KY as his home town and the name Casey stuck. By the young age of 26 he was promoted to engineer, and quickly gained notoriety for his punctuality, recognizable whistle cadence, and his need to quote time to the second from his pocket watch.

While a great engineer and a local legend along his routes, Casey gained immortality the evening of April 30, 1900 when his locomotive - carrying passengers cars and mail sacks - collided with a malfunctioning freight train stalled in his path. How could such a gifted and reliable engineer make such a horrible mistake, we asked? Ben suggested that he was an arrogant showboat, but Beets quickly dispatched such notions citing the fact that brazen behavior is a virtue.

Turns out Casey had to pull a double that day after the return trip engineer called in sick, and by the time the No. 382 train left the station they were a couple hours behind schedule. Not one to ever admit defeat - even on a foggy damp evening, - Casey was determined to arrive on schedule speeding along the route at speeds up to 100 mph. (aka Jason Lusk)

Only a few clicks from the destination and making up serious time (now only 15 MINUTES behind schedule), Casey had the train traveling at 75 mph when he spotted the stalled train ahead. He told his fire man, Sim Webb to jump and save himself. In the remaining seconds, Casey sounded the horn and pulled on the brake with all his might, slowing the train down to about half its speed. The locomotive crashed, tipped on its side and Casey was killed instantly. Miraculously, no one else was seriously injured in the accident.

While the actual crash garnered little national attention, fellow railroad man Wallace Saunders wrote a lyrical ballad to commemorate his friends love for the rails and his fateful last night. While inaccurate as all hell, the song was incorporated into a vaudeville act and a run near the top of the music charts, immortalizing Casey Jones as America's railman.

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.”

- Salvador Dali

Unlike Dali, the Random Roadtrippers never wanted to be cooks or Napoleon. Nor did we ever aspire to have crazy date-wax mustaches or consider paradise “lying naked in the sun covered with flies like a piece of carrion.

We did, however, all once aspire to becoming firemen. And what boy doesn’t? Firemen are big, brave, brawny, and drive awesome red trucks.

However, women take note. For most boys, the dream doesn’t die when we reach maturity. For we 20 and 30somethings, the lionization of firefighters post-9/11 is a recent and deep-set memory. And every time our girlfriends giggle about “walking past the fire station,” we cringe a little because we could all have been just as awesome if we’d just chased the dream.

That perhaps explains why – in the city of Elvis and Civil Rights – Ben chose the Fire Museum of Memphis as Day 5’s first stop. Located in downtown Memphis, the museum occupies two buildings of an old fire station. It is, also, as we soon discovered, exceedingly popular with school groups. Want to imagine the scene for yourself. Take 50 seven-year-olds, 200 pixie sticks, Barney the Dinosaur, combine and stir. The kids were so out of control that a kindly fireman suggested that perhaps we might enjoy the exhibits on the next floor until the group cleared out. Though, in fairness, Ben did a little shrieking of his own when we found Ol’ Billy, the life-size animatronic talking fire safety horse.

When in Memphis, go to the Fire Museum. They have fire trucks. They have toy fire trucks. They have a fireman’s pole that you can slide down. All nourishment for the inner boy. And after a thoroughly grown up evening the night before, eating racks of dry rubbed ribs and taking in a Beale Street blues act fresh off an appearance on the Voice, it was just the five-alarm call to our soul that we needed.